Thanksgiving Essay: A Turkey's Thoughts on Thanksgiving

November 27, 2014 - 3:00am

Dear Crazy Turkey Eaters,

My name is Homey.  I do not want you to eat me!  This is why: (1) I am small!  I am one foot tall and a few inches long.  (2) I will die young.  I am just 25 years old!  (3) I want to be a big bird when I grow up.  When I am a big bird, you can eat me…MAYBE!!! (4) I have a family.  I have 1 girl, 2 boys and a really hot wife and 3 ex wifes and they are smart, but ugly!  SO if you have a heart and brain I hope you will spare my life.  Those kids and wives are in a barn!


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